I don't ask much from you,only love and happiness..

Well i know,maintaining a relationship aint easy and  things gets even harder if the other  party  refuse to do anything,but just letting time and nature take its  course.
I'm tired of trying,waiting and be patient,
In this relationship,people look at me as the bad guy but no one knows the truth.

It's only hope that kept me going.

I envy those relationship,whereby their boyfriend treat their girlfriend like gold;kissing their forehead out of the sudden,smile at random times and always hugging their gf even though its in the public.Their boyfriend plan a whole day activity just for the both of them,gave their girlfriend surprises as they know girl love surprises ,disturbing their gf even though they are with their friends and always put the girl at the top of the list.

Who says this kind of guy doesnt exist,i used to date such a guy.
And things that i'm asking for is not ridiculous,that is a job of a boyfriend,to make their girl happy and pamper them with lots of love.
Don't be in a relationship if you know you can't afford to make her happy.

In this relationship,i am the one who usually gave such surprises and etc as though i'm the guy because for one reason,since he cant do all that for me,by me doing all those for him,makes me even happier.Seeing his sweetest smile is everything that i need to kept me smiling the whole night long.But even sometimes,i do so much for him,at the end of the day,i didnt even receive a warm tight hug from him.
i didnt ask for much,just a hug from him is also difficult.

p/s: I can't sleep till i hear your heart.I can't smile till i see yours.

i was browsing through the YouTube, searching for songs and so far this is the best Ive found.Nice beat man.frankly i don't even know this singer.But whatever it is,
its a great song but not my favourite:):);)

wth is happening...

this months,ever since I werk during the nightlife,I am become more like an owl.hee
Fresh at night but when sun rises than I sleep. and shuts la,I'm starting school in few more days to reach.
how am I suppose to concentrate in class if I didn't sleep.damnnn! this sucks!!!
I better start to go home before 11 pm this week before school starts.I must be more discipline man.

even though some people are complaining their ass off due to the school opening but I am so excited and so looking forward to study.
the recent orientation I attended on Tuesday was a blast!
at the start,well I felt down seeing how quiet my class can be,so Quai Kia. hee:):);)

after 2 hours have pass without me opening my mouth which is so rare for me not to,I finally starts to interact with all my classmates and soon enough,I break the ice. I made 2 closes friends in class and all the rest. damn they are great and soon everybody starts to laugh and chitchat with one another.

And i also made friend with a friendly and helpful OGL.haa.he's nice,really.so glad to know him:):);)

fcuked up day at werk..

Suddenly out of the damn blue,Last Sunday crowd was unpredictable.Its a total chaos.
With the hungry customer rushing for food and within the hour whereby everyone wanted to placed order,the system broke down.
All of us was like so helpless,running from one system to another,found out,all the system broke down at the same time.
So the management suggest to write it in a piece of paper and pass it to the kitchen and bar.
Food didn't come out,food came out slow,food didn't came out the right amount as been ordered.

i almost gone insanely mad when the management called me,asking and questioning me about a customer that ran off.
the question that pisses me off the most is when he asked " where is the customer now"
what the fcuk,that's not my responsibility to know where did the customer go.why should the customer report to me ,if he wants to go to the washroom.I'm not a teacher ,taking care of students.
I'm a waitress taking care of the food.
I didn't understand till what is he trying to say till i got hint that he wants me to pay an amount of $300.
my emotion took control over me right after he said that.The company system broke down,is not the waitress responsibility ,customer ran away is also not the waitress fault at all.
the system break down,the company should be at lost but in the end they pushes the blame to the waitress and waiter to pay for the runaway customer.
On the spot,i shouted at his face and just walk off.
while i was smoking and calming myself down,i was thinking,if i really needed to pay that amount,i swear i will call the police to handle this issue for me.
they think they are smart.tsk! kiss my foot man.

in the end,my friend help me out by sorting this issue and found out,the customer have paid for their food.

ever since that day,i ain't longer attend werk regularly.i am so not bothered if they are in shortage of manpower or not.

List of what I want to do for this week ..

Shopping..
Ayam penyet..


Next week..

Newton..
New ezlink Card..
Jb with my beloved daya and yatis.

Next month..

Zoo..
Book chalet..

Took off..

These days I've been putting back my tongue stud on my tongue.
I pierce when I was sec 2,but the hole don't seems to close even after me not wearing it for over 2 years.
I started using it back as there's this auntie at werk was talking about misfortune for using the tongue stud at werk.
So instead of just believing or ignoring her,I was curious to find out,and so I wore it back.well the moment I wore it,I know,I definitely gonna face hapless from baby.
needing to face baby,because he spot this very quick.
But beside that,I seems to be doing fine maybe even better at werk.
And that had proven that,her believes is wrong,just plain nonsensical.hehehh.
I took it off liaoooo.not wearing it for the time being.

Sugar daddy?!?! Hahahha!!

Once the clock strike 5pm,customer already starts to fill up the seats
in session 2.I've not yet to smoke but customer since to start coming in one after another.
At that moment,I was the only one tHere to take incharge.
Okay,now the story begins..
There's 3 male customer,a great gentlemen,we were all in a good term.We were talking And laughing.okay this is still normal.
When He asked for the bill from hilmi,he asked Hilmi to call me to serve him instead of hilmi.when hiLmi called me saying "customer 206 nak jumpe you" I
started to feel strange.I was thinking,u can just sign and go.why do need me to pass the bill for you.
So cluelessly I pass the bill With no tips! And deep inside,I think again,so why do u need me?
He starts asking me will I be here for dinner,how long have I been werking here,where iM schooling and etc.at the end he add on,i will be coming here again for dinner,see you later okay". I just reply politely okay.
Suddenly At around 10+pm while I was standing around the Bar,a man just appear infront of me.and it was him again.thought who the hell,in the was him.he starts tAlking to me and giving me some Compliment that Im a great girl with good potential ,he said he got hope on me to see me suceessful one day in future.he ask me tO study hard.
He told me he is not able to have dinner here as he need to rush to some other place and he apologies for that? He say he will come gain to see me before my last day of werking before school start.
While I was talking to him I didn't know everyone were looking and trying to hear what was the conversation about.hahah.
And seriously Im wondering, so The motive of he returning is just to apologies and say bye?!damn what is wrong?!
Once he leave,people start asking,what did he wants and stuff. Well what can I say... Hehhehe

I'm still searching for the reason why is he not mentioning the detail about where he going and etc.
If he got to say that he doesn't want to disturb me while werking,
that is definetly ridiculous because he knows very well how chill am I at werkas though it's owned by my father.
Maybe I guess he is just too obsessed with werk but that make no sense because baby always takes train,why can't he text me in the train since he got a long ride,it would be unacceptable if he wants to say,he doesn't want to disturb me when I'm asleep because I'm a person,if I sleep,I can still wake up to reply and return back to sleep.it doesn't stop me from sleeping again.how about after werk and all.once at home?!

Okay calm down yaya.well there's more running through.
Well I know of the way to distract myself from this pain,talking about my shopping day out with baby!!
Monday I went to shopping with baby,never felt so fun.shop for baby new formal clothes,as usual me,nak carik kasut and bag,in the end bought myself 2 dress and 2 tops.money fly,and more money gonna fly on Friday and saturday so do next Saturday. Can't wait to shop again!!!!! Shopping is the 3rd source of my happiness.hehehhe

Writting in Malay.let's try.hahah
Untukmu kekasihku):);)

Kite sayang awak,kite selalu cube untuk menahan mate kite untuk menDengar awak bangun Dari tido awak.kite nak dengar suare awak setiap pagy awak bangun Dari tido awak.suare awak sungguh lucu apabila awak baru bangun tido dengan Muke awak tu yang sungguh cacak.
Tetapi awak selalu tidak menghubungi kite setiap Kali awak bangun tido,kenape ye?Susah sangat ke?
Awak dah tak Msg kite apabila awak keluar,bila awak sampai keje bila awak keluar selapas keje bila awak suDah sampai rumah.
Dahulu awAk selalu Bilang kite semue gerak Geri awak,sebelum kite bersame pun awak Sudah mule untuk memberi tahu kite tentang ini semue tetapi kenape Sekarang awak sudah hentiKan itu semue.kte selalu memikiri tentang awak,tatapi Nampak nampaknye awak ingat kite sudah tidak kesah atau awak sudah tak kesah lagi. Hais cuma tuhan sahaja lah yang tahu berapa sedihnya saya.

Okay end of writing in Malay,hahahhahahaha,Gosh my malay is atrocious.This is really a hard way to express my well,I barely able to express myself as half of my time is thinking of the word and the other quarter to think of the way to form it nicely but I failed.hahahha.I can't speak nor write good Malay,how sucks can it be.a Malay who doesn't know how to speak nor write good Malay.
It's okay,because I found a guy whom is just like me.right baby?I think he is worst.haahah

Patience will pay off one day..

This is all part of challenges in life.it's a test for me to learn And grow maturely
from it.this test cAn made me stronger in future.
I may not able to enjoy now but atleast in future my happiness will triple times the blast.

These days,I have lots of thing running in mind and I am real lucky to have a great lesbian friend daya whom always there to give great advice.Hehe.whatever she said make me start thinking all over again and seriously she can BeCome a good councelor.hahah.she is really so good till she is able to wake me up before I fall apart.
Thank you so much baby daya.I love you so much.hehhehhe.

Right now I'm at jurong medical centre to have my poly medical checkup.it's like so freaking roublesome.supposingly I should be alright by now but because baby was late And I refuses to walk on my own,I missed the first slit and now I'm wAiting till this nurses and doctors to return from their lunch.it's already 9th of march and I've yet to hand in the forms to school and pay my school fees.dateline 12 of march.gosh this is freaking rushing.I going to school once I wake up tmr.luckily I hAve a loving bf to help me out in this And company me tmr.

Well yesterday was quite an awesome night.
i was left behind by the transport and i reached home at 2.20am this morning.
Gosh i really had a long day yesterday at werk.
Its all due to one wrong move.hahhaha.
It's been awhile since i ride on a bike,sooooo Aof needed Mee to help him get some beers.And ofcz i loudly volunteered on following to lead the way.
Two bikes racing through the road,gosh i love it.hehehe.
Right after i reach back,i notice that my transport had disappear and left w/o me.
Okay so the only thing that is in my mind is just taking cab home,but grabbing a cab at Dempsey isn't easy,so i asked mee,lun and yatie a favour to send me back home.
while riding,me and yatie kept passing cigarettes around.And all we needed was focus to prevent the cig to fly.One bike will catch the bike with cig and it continue all the way till i reach home.We had great team work,out of werk and so do at werk.
After a fun night riding across the road ,,
Unfortunately,i reach home,get fcuked by baby,for riding a bike.hais.i'm sorry baby.

p/s: no more riding on a bike.hais

Each time,i watch and listen to this song,it just reminds me and bring me to the memories i had with baby.My life seems to be so beautiful with him,its as though i'm in a dream.But right now,my reality is my sweetest dream.
I'm so grateful to have found him and always have him by my side.He's my greatest man,my dream guy and my one and only man.
I never fail to laugh and spread a smile on my face each time i'm around him.
we may have gone through all kind of obstacles,by we always try our best to solve it,instead of runniong away.we learn from each and every obstacle and struggles we had,thats the reason why,our relationship is strong because it grew stronger each time.nothing can break us apart.
i love him so muchhhhhhhhhhh.

p/s:i complete my life with him in my future.

i knew it ain't gonna be easy filling up the form by myself.I took almost a hour to figure out what the hell i wrote.hhahaha.I think i messed up everything,but never mind,i guess i taking a day off on Monday to hand up the forms and all.Then the next day ill be going to UOB before werk with dad to pay the school fees.

Right after i finished everything,i asked my mum..This is how the conversation goes.

yaya: Mum on the 18 April there's a roadshow going on at school to buy laptop uh..
mum:okay..how much??
yaya:aiya cheap only la,i choose the cheapest among all.

dad just set down quietly listening on the conversation,just needing to know that one info;HOW MUCH?
since he's the one paying.

mum:good good,how much?
yaya:$2000 only.
mum & dad:WHAT!!?? GILER!!! DONT BE CRAZY. and they continue for a 2 minutes.
mum whisper:you try talk to him nicely uh,I'm sure you can get it uh.hehehe.
yaya:aiyaaaaaaaa never mind uh,i pay uh i pay.school fee i pay,laptop i pay,shopping i pay,everything also i pay uh.

everyone keep quiet..............
i enter the room,blog and smoke to release some stress.hahahhah

1. 
   
   Enter to the website,to fill certain important info's.
2. 
   
   fill in the forms.
3. 
   
   Go to school to hand up the forms.
4. 
   
   medical checkups.
5. 
   
   pay school fees.

off day....

Mum have been nagging about me returning very late everyday.at times I can Be returning about 4,sometimes at 5 and latest was two days ago,at 6am.I'm now feeling so extremely bored and exhausted with no cigerretes with me and fcuking sound blasting the dinning area competing for my attention,I tried to seat outside yet the song is just too loud to ignore.even till now,it sadden me hearing the song "if I were a boy" . Ofcz it doesn't gave me such a big impact compare to a year ago. Now I'm a stronger woman and a happy woman with her dream guy and great friends around.

Labels: Twd morning glory

This is my LOVE!!! My Chaota!! I love him so much!!!! He's my life too beside baby.I miss him sooo much.i've not met him for ages.And i really cant wait to meet him later at 5,hopefully time flies triple time faster because i really cant wait to see him.can't wait to see how much he change.well i got to know seconds ago,he pierced his ear.that's very saddening and surprising,he's brave enough to pierced.hee.Whatever it is,i just cant wait to see him,i'm sure to hug him so tight till he struggle.

Chaota,i love you so much and i promise to be there for you at all times.

HAHhahha,when i first enter my blog,my eyes was caught on by the picture of the roses.
i was wondering where is this picture coming from? At first i thought there's a picture error on my picture.I was staring at it till i read the post.hahahahh.

Thanks baby.hhahha.i love you so much.Thanks for calming me down and making me smile with your short Lil post.
Since its nearing people around me seems to be helping me to calm down due to my nervousness.
well frankly i'm really very worried.i don't seems to have any mood to eat and etc.

I shall end here,thanks everyone for the support and baby! i love you all and baby boy.MUACKS

well,my gf's blog seems very empty,so im going to do her the favour of updating her blog!!im gonna give to her this. 3 roses..and that signifies "i love you!"...byk2 baby...and chill okayy...ur exams results will be fine...it wont be the end anyway...ur bf will be behind u all the way okayy...i love you baby!muuuacksss!!!

love,
baby rafee